What it really means.....

Did you come? == Because I didn't.

I have something to tell you. == Get tested.

I'm a Romantic. == I'm poor.

 Trust me. == I'm cheating on you.

I think we should just be friends. == You're ugly.

Haven't I seen you before? == Nice ass.

Was it good for you? == I'm insecure about my manhood.

We need to talk. == I'm pregnant.

I had a wonderful time last night. == Who the hell are you?

I've been thinking a lot. == You're not as attractive as when I was drunk.

I've learned a lot from you. == Next!

I think we should see other people. == I have been seeing other people.

We don't have to do anything until you are ready. == Put out or get out.

Is there something wrong? == Is it supposed to be this soft?

You're so mature. == I hope you're eighteen.

 "I need some space" = Without you in it.

"It's not the size that counts." = Wow! I didn't know they made them that small.

 "I could never want anyone else but you." = I've given up hope of ever finding anything better

"I'm a social drinker." = One drink and I'm singing Boogie Shoes on top of a table

 "Sure honey, I'd love to have a threesome" = Our third can be my divorce lawyer

 "Yups, it's a real diamond." = So shut up already!

"We have an understanding." = We understand enough to not talk to each other

"Do you think you wanna have kids someday?" = Cuz you got one coming in about 8 months

"Let's get married!" = Muhahahahaha, now I have you in my clutches!

"What time is it?" = Gods you're boring!

"I have an early morning." = Of getting the hell away from you as fast as I can.

"It's not you, it's me." = It's YOU!